Can a Divorced Person Remarry?
Abuse as Grounds for Biblical Divorcce
The other grounds I believe where divorce is not a sin is when there is abuse of the other party. I am not a psychologist, but I know that abuse can be both physical and emotional. Neither one of these types of situations are healthy for the person on the receiving end of the abuse. I want to highlight a Scripture that is not often seen in the light of a marital relationship, but I think it makes the point.
“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people” (2 Timothy 3:1-5).
Please notice the type of person Paul is describing here. Imagine for a moment being married to a person who is boastful, proud, abusive, ungrateful, without love, unforgiving, without self-control, brutal, treacherous, who looks like a Christian on the outside but the behind the scenes is a totally different person. This type of person would be impossible to live with. Notice what Paul says. “Have nothing to do with such people.”
The question to consider is would God tell you to not have anything to do with this type of person who is outside of your house but endure this type of person inside your house? I don’t believe God would require anyone to endure this. In this case, if this is the reality, then I don’t think divorce is a sin.
Can a Divorced Person Remarry?
Can a Divorced Person Remarry?
Like the initial question we are answering, of whether divorce is a sin, with remarriage it depends. When considering this, you should ask what were the circumstances that led to the divorce? I think another question that is appropriate is not just can a divorced person remarry, but should a divorced person remarry? I believe that a person who has divorced, even if it is for biblical reasons, should not rush into marriage again. They should allow some time for the scars to heal. This is just my opinion, there is not a rule or law that says this.
What happens though if you decide to divorce and you know it was not for biblical reasons? What should a person do in this situation?
1 – Reconcile
If this is still an option, meaning both parties are open to it and neither party has remarried, then this is something to explore. This may or may not be the best option and I would caution that those who decide to do this really examine the issues that led to the divorce in the first place.
2 – Repent
If your divorce was not for biblical reasons, then you can say that divorce is a sin. However, this is not an unpardonable sin, God does forgive. If you have repented and reconciliation is not a viable option, then I believe in this instance remarriage is possible.
Conclusion
As you can see this is not a simple topic to discuss. There are lots of people who are wrestling with this question “is divorce a sin?” Many have been scarred or bruised because of divorce, and some because of how they have been treated after the divorce.
I want to encourage you with one final thought. If you are divorced, your life is not over. God has neither forgotten nor forsaken you. Wherever you are, it’s time to pick up the pieces and know that you have a God who specializes in making beautiful things out of broken pieces. God still loves you. God still has a plan for you. It’s time to turn the page and start writing the next chapter.
Tips for Healing a Struggling Marriage
What do you do then if you are in a struggling marriage?
To be clear I am not talking about an abusive marriage – that is an entirely different category which we spoke about earlier. There are no magic formulas in marriage, it takes 100 percent commitment from both parties. Here are some tips to consider if you are struggling.
1 – Remember why you fell in love in the first place.
If possible, either have a conversation or write down the things that caused you to fall in love with your spouse in the first place. Sometimes looking backwards helps us to remember the things that really matter.
2 – Grow together spiritually.
Many times, discord comes when people are in different places. This is especially true if one of you wants to get closer to God and the other is lukewarm or not interested in the idea. As best as you can, try to encourage growth together. But if the other spouse is reluctant, you keep growing. I would add this; sometimes in the zeal to get the other spouse moving towards the things of God, you begin to remind them of how much they need God. If Jesus is making the difference in your life, make sure it is shown in your behavior not just your words. This has a way of allowing the other spouse to see the change in you and that can be the thing that draws them.
3 – Do the things you did at first.
I am going to make this point very simple. Whatever you did to win the heart of your spouse, continue doing those things. Don’t take them for granted.
You cannot survive a struggling relationship unless both parties are willing to work on it. Marriage is a two-way commitment, as all successful relationships are. If you are both committed than pray your way through these tough moments, but remember the commitment you have made to each other.
The last thing I would say is get help. There is no shame in getting counseling from someone who is a professional. If you care about your spouse and you care about the marriage than the commitment must be to do everything you can to make it work. Sometimes that will require outside help.
Clarence L. Haynes Jr.
is a speaker, Bible teacher, and co-founder of The Bible Study Club. He is the author of The Pursuit of Purpose which will help you understand how God leads you into his will. He has also just released his new book The Pursuit of Victory: How To Conquer Your Greatest Challenges and Win In Your Christian Life. Do you want to go deeper in your walk with the Lord but can’t seem to overcome the stuff that keeps getting in the way? This book will teach you how to put the pieces together so you can live a victorious Christian life and finally become the man or woman of God that you truly desire to be. To learn more about his ministry please visit clarencehaynes.com.
