Is Divorce Really a Sin?
Divorce is a real and prevalent issue both inside and outside the church.
Divorce is a real and prevalent issue both inside and outside the church. When it comes to the topic of divorce, this can be a little bit like The Scarlet Letter. If you are not familiar with the story, a woman who had commited adultery was forced to walk around with a scarlet letter A sewn into her clothes. This identified to everyone the sin she had committed.
When it comes to divorce, sometimes in Christian circles it gets treated the same way. There are several reasons why people get divorced: adultery, abuse, finances, or simply falling out of love. But the question that many wonder is this: is divorce a sin? Obviously, divorce is not something that God wants or pleases Him, but is it actually a sin? Divorce is a complicated and controversial issue, yet it cannot be ignored.
What makes something, such as divorce, sinful?
The nature of this topic should require us to approach it with a lot of grace. For people not facing these challenging situations it could be very easy to come to the conclusion that divorce is a sin. The short answer is yes, Paul and Jesus both spoke of factors that can allow divorce to be justified and not sinful. However, t truth of the matter is that whether divorce is a sin is a little more complicated than that.
As I write this I am writing from a perspective of a child whose parents went through a divorce, so I have seen firsthand how devastating and damaging this can be. My intention today is to not bring down the heavy hand, which is easy to do, but to bring the hand of grace which is not always easy to do. Whether the actual act of divorce is a sin, every divorce is a product of sin. If there was no sin in the marriage relationship, divorce would not be needed. Surely Jesus knows our weaknesses and understands our needs. Let’s take a look at what the Bible teaches us as grounds for divorce and reconciliation.
Does the Bible, and Jesus, Talk About Divorce?
In the gospels Jesus does talk about divorce. When you read what he says it helps to start shaping the answer to the question is divorce a sin.
In the gospels Jesus does talk about divorce. When you read what he says it helps to start shaping the answer to the question is divorce a sin.
“It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery’” (Matthew 5:31-32).
He repeated something similar in Matthew 19 and Mark 10.
“I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery” (Matthew 19:10).
“When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery’” (Mark 10:10-12).
When God created marriage, the plan was that it would be for life. Yet we know this does not always happen. In these three portions of Scripture Jesus is defining legitimate grounds for divorce. In this case it is marital unfaithfulness or adultery. During the time of Jesus there were two schools of thought in Jewish culture regarding reasons for divorce. One, which was very liberal, said you can divorce for whatever reason you wanted. The other was more conservative, limiting divorce to if a woman committed sexual immorality. It is important to note that in the Jewish culture, only men could initiate divorce. However, in Roman culture woman had the right to initiate divorce.
Clearly what we see is that adultery is a legitimate and acceptable reason in God’s eyes for divorce. In this case divorce is not a sin but it is caused because of sin. Once you get past adultery, which is a pretty easy standard to judge by, it leads to another question. Is adultery the only grounds for divorce? In the church today when people divorce, many times it is not for reasons of adultery. What are some other grounds where divorce would be acceptable?
Are . Appropriate Times for Divorce?
Scripturally I believe there are two other grounds where divorce would be acceptable in God’s eyes. Those other two grounds are abandonment and abuse.
Abandonment
I would like to point your attention to a portion of Scripture.
“To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife” (1 Corinthians 7:10-11).
What Paul is clearly stating here is that marriages are designed to be for life. This does not mean there won’t be rough patches in the marriage, but to simplify what Paul is saying, he says to do your best to work it out. Even if there is a period of separation, this does not free you from the responsibility of marriage. Hopefully, the goal of the separation is to help lead to reconciliation. But what happens if the spouse leaves and has no desire to come back? Let’s continue in this same chapter.
“But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?” (1 Corinthians 7:15-16).
Here Paul is saying that if the unbelieving spouse abandons or leaves the marriage then the spouse who stays is not obligated to stay bound to their commitment to the marriage. They are free.
However, this causes me to ask a question. What if a believing spouse leaves the marriage, is the remaining spouse still bound by the obligation of marriage? I would say in this instance that the remaining spouse is also no longer bound because it is not their fault that their spouse left the marriage. God does not hold us accountable for the actions of other people that are beyond our control. In this, case for the spouse who leaves, I believe divorce is a sin, but for the spouse who stays it is not.
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