Appropriate Levels of Physical Intimacy Before Marriage:
Biblical Perspectives and Practical Guidance
In today’s society, the issue of premarital intimacy and sexual activity has become very complex. It is generally accepted from a social and cultural perspective, while the principles of the Bible are very clear and firm. In this article, we will explain the appropriate level of premarital intimacy by combining biblical principles with a practical approach, which will help you better understand and apply it.
1. Bible principle: sexual immorality and physical intimacy
The Bible clearly defines physical intimacy outside of marriage as sexual immorality. Ephesians 5:3 states, “But let there not be among you even a hint of sexual immorality or any kind of impurity…for these are inappropriate for God’s holy people.” Based on this, any form of physical intimacy before marriage—whether it be kissing or deep physical contact—is considered sexual immorality. The Bible makes it clear that Christians should avoid activities that undermine God’s holiness and dignity.
2. Sexual immorality and foreplay
On a deeper level, even physical activities such as “foreplay” are considered part of sexual immorality and impurity, if they are not done in the context of marriage. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7 makes this clear: “This is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality.” Such activities—which include nudity, sensual kissing, or touching each other naked—are naturally considered sexual immorality. Such activities increase sexual attraction and arousal to each other, which can eventually lead to the temptation to have sex before marriage.
3. Discretion and personal boundaries
Respecting personal conscience, the Bible gives us a clear message: “If there is any doubt as to whether an activity is right for an unmarried couple, it is better to avoid it, to be on the safe side” (Romans 14:23). If you begin to feel spiritually or mentally uncomfortable while engaging in a physical activity, it is best not to do it. The Bible invites us to live self-sufficient, holy, and sober lives. This is not just about sexual activities, but to be mindful in every decision in life.
4. How to apply it in practical life
When practically defining an appropriate level of physical intimacy before marriage, you need to keep a few important things in mind when considering this topic:
4.1. Keep boundaries clear
Unmarried couples should set clear boundaries by mutual consent. It is important that you and your partner set boundaries for physical activity that are consistent with your faith and biblical principles. You should set boundaries in advance to avoid physical intimacy that could signal sexual immorality and attraction.
4.2. Focus on minimizing physical contact
It’s important to control activities like passionate kissing, deep physical contact, and nudity. All of these can increase sexual attraction and arousal, which can encourage you to engage in sexual activity until you’re ready for marriage.
4.3. Practice restraint
It is extremely important to practice moderation and have a healthy attitude toward physical intimacy. Refraining from such activities before the time for marriage will help strengthen your self-esteem and your relationship with God.
4.4. Seek the help of the religious community
It is important to consult with your religious community, church, or other faith-based group for mutual trust and support. Such groups can provide guidance and support for you through these challenges, helping you make wise decisions.
5. Conclusion: The dignity and sanctity of physical intimacy
In the context of physical intimacy and sexual activity before marriage, biblical principles inspire us to live a holy and sober life. Applying these principles in practical life helps us to observe God’s holiness and prepare us for a healthy and holy marriage in the future. By setting such boundaries, we are guided by commitment, faith, and holiness, which impact our spiritual journey and all areas of life.
