How Should We Choose A Spouse According To The Bible?
How Should We Choose a Spouse According to the Bible?
Choosing a spouse is one of the most important decisions in life, and the Bible offers clear guidance on how to approach this significant step. The decision to marry is not only about finding someone with whom you are compatible but also someone who aligns with God’s purpose and plan for your life. Below, we explore biblical principles that should guide your choice of a spouse.
1. Choose Someone Who Shares Your Faith
2 Corinthians 6:14 says, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
One of the foundational principles in choosing a spouse is spiritual compatibility. The Bible encourages believers to marry someone who shares the same faith in Christ. When both partners are committed to living according to God’s Word, their relationship will be grounded in a common purpose, and they will be able to support each other spiritually. An unequally yoked marriage can create tension, as both partners may have differing worldviews, values, and priorities.
Choosing someone who shares your faith will help you grow together spiritually, pray together, and support each other in your individual and collective walk with God.
2. Look for a Person of Character
Proverbs 31:10 says, “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.”
The Bible stresses the importance of character over external appearances. When choosing a spouse, it is vital to look beyond physical attraction and wealth and focus on qualities like integrity, kindness, honesty, and humility. The Proverbs 31 woman is described as someone who fears the Lord, works hard, provides for her family, and is wise. Similarly, a godly man is one who seeks the Lord, displays integrity in his actions, and leads with love.
Look for a person whose life reflects godly character and virtues. A strong character foundation is crucial for building a lasting and healthy marriage.
3. Consider God’s Purpose for Your Life Together
Amos 3:3 says, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?”
Marriage is meant to be a partnership in fulfilling God’s purposes. When choosing a spouse, consider how both of your lives align with God’s calling. Are you both focused on advancing the Kingdom of God? Do your personal goals and values align with God’s will for your lives? Marriage should be about two people coming together to honor God, serve others, and fulfill His plan.
Pray for discernment to understand whether your potential spouse’s life aligns with God’s purpose for you both. A marriage rooted in shared purpose will create a strong foundation to weather challenges and grow together in faith.
4. Look for Someone Who Loves and Honors You
Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
In choosing a spouse, it is important to find someone who will love you selflessly and sacrificially, just as Christ loved the Church. True love, according to the Bible, is selfless and seeks the best for the other person. A godly spouse is one who will honor you, respect you, and care for you with patience, kindness, and compassion.
This principle applies to both men and women. A woman should look for a man who loves her with Christ-like love, and a man should look for a woman who will support and respect him as the leader in the home. Mutual love and respect are essential in building a strong, God-honoring marriage.
5. Marry Someone Who Is Committed to Growth
Philippians 1:6 says, “Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Choosing a spouse who is committed to their personal spiritual growth and is willing to continue growing in their relationship with God is essential. Marriage is a lifelong journey of growing together spiritually and emotionally. A person who is committed to becoming more like Christ will encourage you to do the same. A relationship where both partners desire to grow in Christ-likeness will be built on a strong, enduring foundation.
6. Choose Someone Who Will Be a Good Parent (If You Plan to Have Children)
Proverbs 22:6 says, “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”
If marriage involves starting a family, it’s important to consider how your potential spouse will raise children. The Bible encourages parents to train their children in the ways of the Lord, teaching them wisdom, discipline, and godly character.
Consider whether your potential spouse shares your desire to raise children with biblical values and is willing to partner with you in teaching and guiding your children in the faith.
7. Seek Someone Who Is Patient and Gentle
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”
Patience, kindness, and gentleness are crucial qualities in any relationship, especially in marriage. These characteristics are often revealed over time, so it’s important to observe how your potential spouse handles conflict, stress, and difficult situations. Are they quick to anger or slow to forgive? Do they show kindness and gentleness in their actions and words?
A marriage built on these virtues will be more resilient in facing life’s challenges and will reflect Christ’s love to the world.
8. Look for a Person Who Values and Respects Marriage
Hebrews 13:4 says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
Choosing a spouse who values the sanctity of marriage is vital. Marriage is a covenant, not just a legal contract. Both partners should honor the sacredness of the marital relationship and commit to remaining faithful to each other. When choosing a spouse, make sure that they have a high regard for marriage and understand the lifelong commitment that it entails.
9. Pray for God’s Guidance
James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”
The decision to choose a spouse is one that requires wisdom, discernment, and prayer. God promises that He will give wisdom to those who ask, and seeking His guidance is crucial in making such an important decision. Spend time in prayer, asking God to reveal His will for your life and to guide you to the right person. Trust that God will lead you according to His plan and that He knows what’s best for you.
10. Marry Someone Who Reflects God’s Image
Genesis 1:27 says, “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”
Ultimately, the person you choose to marry should be someone who reflects God’s image and character. Marriage is an opportunity to mirror God’s love and holiness to the world. Look for someone who strives to live in a way that reflects Christ’s character and virtues, someone who will encourage you to grow closer to God and live according to His Word.
Conclusion
Choosing a spouse is not a decision to be taken lightly, and it’s one that should be approached with prayer, wisdom, and discernment. According to the Bible, a marriage should be built on mutual faith, godly character, love, respect, and shared purpose. It should honor God and reflect His image in the world. By following these biblical principles, you can make a wise decision and enter into a marriage that is fulfilling, lasting, and aligned with God’s will.
May God bless your relationship and guide you in choosing a spouse who will honor Him and support you in your walk of faith!
